Noe News is Good News

Another scare!

For the first time in my life I found myself pretty much forcing cookies down Joselyn's throat. It was the only thing easily accessible at the time and something I knew she would eat for sure.

Just moments earlier I was giving Landen a bath (in the bathroom which is attached to Joselyn's room) while Joselyn played happily in her room. She would come in to say every once in a while, but never did I notice that she had reached up onto the counter and got a hold of the Children's Benadryl which we have been giving her every night before bed because of her runny nose (caused by teething we are guessing). I also didn't notice that she had somehow got the child-resistant cap off. (she has mastered taking caps off of bottles etc lately) I was, after all, giving a tiny baby a bath and my attention had to be focused on him. The scary thing is she knows EXACTLY what is in that bottle- bubble gum flavored yummy liquid. So imagine my extreme horror when she walked in all proud and showed me the almost empty bottle of Benadryl that she had been drinking out of. My heart jumped out of my chest. I knew there was about 1/4 of the 4 oz. bottle left and that after her getting a hold of it there was about 1/8. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I tried to stay calm for the children's sake, but acted fast. I took Landen out of the bath, wrapped him in a towl quickIy and promptly took the bottle away- and Joselyn of course screamed at the top of her lungs. I didn't care. I then picked Joselyn up with Landen in my other other arm and ran down the stairs to get the phone and call the Poison Control Center. Landen was starting to sense the chaos and started crying but I was worried sick about Joselyn. I didn't know how bad this could be and I was seriously SO SCARED.

Just a few hours earlier Joselyn had turned my bad day around. I was seriously having a terrible very overwhelming day. The babies were not cooperating schedule wise with me and I wasn't getting my usual break to wind down a little. There came a moment when I just sat down and started crying with poor little Landen. Joselyn was being whiney too for some reason I can't remember and it was just too much. Then, without any persuation on my part, Joselyn comes up behind me and gives me the sweetest hug of comfort. And she didn't let go. Just then I loved her so much more and I stopped crying. Landen stopped shortly after and I decided I would make the day better. I turned on some good music and started dancing with my two babies. It was so fun and the babies were both smiling and happy. And I was finally happy too and ready to get back with the program.

As I dialed the number to the Poison Control Center I thought again about how much I loved Joselyn and that I would just die if something bad happened to her. She seemed to be acting fine, but I didn't know what kind of reaction I would be expecting either. The lady on the phone was really nice. They always are- I had to call them once for myself when I stupidly mixed dishwashing liquid with dishwasher soap. (DON'T EVER DO THAT BY THE WAY) She asked me all kinds of questions and it turns out the amount she COULD have swallowed wasn't enough to do any harm in the long run. She told me to give her something to eat and drink right away and so I gave her a cookie and pretty much demanded she ate all of it, and gave her some water which I also made her drink. I was to keep a close eye on her through the night and keep her from sleeping on her back (which she doesn't do anyway). I was SO relieved. I am now realizing that there is so much more worry ahead of me with raising children. That Benadryl and all other medicines, including the child-resistant capped ones, will be WAY out of the babies' reach from now on.

Some things just melt a mother's heart!

This morning Joselyn came up to me with her arms outstretched like she wanted me to hold her so I picked her up and wrapped my arms around her. She, in turn, wrapped her tiny arms around my neck and started patting my back. She then looked at me and gave me the biggest smile. Then she wanted back down, and continued playing. She just wanted to give me a hug! It was such a sweet moment. Something like that can cheer you up for weeks!

I miss my baby girl...

Joselyn is upstairs taking her morning nap and Ethan is playing next to me on the floor. I thought I would go through some old pictures and videos of Joselyn for a little project I am working on for her birthday party. She's grown up way too fast! It's weird to see her so little as we held her in our arms, and to see our excitement as she gave us her first smile. I laughed and cried. Here she is, almost 1 year old, walking... I couldn't help but feel a little pang of sadness as I realized how fast time has gone by. I tried to cherish every moment and did my best to document everything so I would never forget... but you DO forget. Joselyn is not a newborn anymore and she never will be again! How sad is that? I'm so glad she's growing up and learning new things and experiencing life but I will always miss the Joselyn of the past. She's like a different little person each day that I will never meet again. Having children is really a bittersweet experience. No matter what you do, you can't get a day back. I guess that's why it's so important to really live in the moment. Next thing you know, those moments are a thing of the past. Adam used to tease me that I took too many videos of Joselyn... so many we had to buy an external hard drive just to store them all! Now I have no regrets. Those videos are treasured possessions. Captured memories I can try to re-live over and over again. I want to hold her and never let her go... and yet I look forward to all the things to come. More laughs, more giggles, more hugs, more cuddles... so much ahead and I can't wait!!

We will miss you Santa Clause

Just a few minutes ago my sister Chelsea called me to tell me some very sad news... our dear Santa Clause passed away today from cancer. We have known Brother Southworth aka Santa Clause for a very long time. Even in my middle school days he was the Santa Clause we took pictures with and who passed out goodies at the church Christmas parties. He was a VERY sweet gentle man and he looked like the real thing. I'm serious... he looked like the picture of Christmas all year long, and carried the Christmas spirit with him always. I couldn't wait for the day I had children and THEY could take their pictures with him. When Autumn was born, he made a special house visit to my parents home to take pictures with her. Isn't that sweet? I'm so glad little Joselyn had the chance last Christmas to take pictures with him. Brother Southworth will be missed tremendously by many here in Kentucky, and his sweet wife and family are in my thoughts and prayers. 

Confessions

Yes, there are times when Joselyn won't go down for a nap and I get so frustrated because there are things I want to get done... there are also times when she will only stop crying if she is held and I can't get the house clean making me even more frustrated. I know it's selfish of me, but it's true. I get frustrated. Then there are times like this morning... when I hear her little cry and I pick her up... and she stops crying immediately and looks into my eyes with so much love...and then falls asleep in my arms. She looks so peaceful and content. I don't want to put her back down... I just want to hold her and look at her sweet face. It makes me cry. And it's when my heart is open to moments like these that I feel the amazing power of love she has for me. It's such an amazing feeling to know that my little baby loves me and trusts me so much. It's neat that she knows me and the fact that when I hold her and cuddle with her it comforts her more than anything else could. I've never known a love like this before and just wanted to write my feelings down. I love my baby girl!! Who cares if the house doesn't get clean or if I don't have time to myself? The time I spend with my daughter in my arms, doing nothing else, are some of the most precious moments ever.

So thoughtful!

I was sitting at my desk just getting a last few things done when two co-workers brought me up a beautiful bouquet of flowers!! They said it was from everyone at the Dealership to wish me luck on having my baby! I thought it was so sweet! It's a beautiful fall bouquet in a pumpkin! It made me cry!

I've come a long way

While waiting for Adam to get home yesterday, I decided to go back and read my old blog entries just to reminisce. I do that every once in a while, but haven't done so in a few months at least. I'm so glad I started this blog and recorded all the little thoughts and feelings etc that I've experienced over these past 7+ months, and it's really unbelievable how fast time has gone by. At the time, I thought this point that I am at today would never come.

I went and read about the day I found out I was pregnant, and it was so fun to read about Adam's reaction and how excited I really was... and I remembered the feeling of just being so awe-struck. I couldn't believe I was really pregnant. It was fun to read about the time I first saw the flicker of my baby's heartbeat, and seeing how much she had grown over 12 weeks. I was glad my first trimester was over as I read about my morning sickness, weird cravings and sleepless nights. Those days are just a memory now, and I don't miss them a bit! (although the sleepless nights part is bound to return here shortly!)I laughed as I read about some of the weird dreams I've had...

I've been a little overwhelmed recently at the thought that my baby will be here so soon. About 50 days left now... and that is going to FLY!!! I hope that I will be a good mother and that I've adequately prepared myself for her arrival. It's a time of mixed emotions... mostly excitement, but a little bit of nervousness and shock, knowing my life, OUR lives, will never be the same again.

Sometimes thinking about having a family takes me back to memories that I've had growing up... my brothers and sisters all piling in bed with my mom and dad and having a 'family sandwich' (when we were all 'little', of course!), climb on daddy time, going places together... and it's amazing to think that Adam and I are responsible for creating lasting memories such as those for our own children. There is so much of life ahead of us... and to think how hard we often think it is to be any happier is a little funny. I look forward to creating sweet memories with our daughter... cuddling in bed on a Saturday morning, playing at the park, decorating the Christmas tree as we listen to Mannheim Steamroller... stuff like that. Adam  and I get to create our own family traditions now, and we will have a family of our own. I feel so grown-up all of the sudden!!! Here in a few months I will read this post and think to myself once again "I've come a long way!"

Wiggle Worm

I must say little Joselyn sure loves to move around! As I sit here at my desk writing this I can feel her wiggling like crazy! And she does that a lot! I'm not complaining though... I actually love it and it makes me smile. I wonder if she can think about things, and if she can, what she thinks about. I wonder if she is thinking about what it will be like when she's here outside in this world. I've always kind of secretly thought that babies can't talk because they know too much... they are so pure and sweet. Maybe they have some secrets?  When I see newborns staring into space, I often wonder if they see angels. I know it sounds a little 'crazy' but I honestly have wondered that. I also wonder what she's going to look like. I can't wait to see her and to get to know her little personality. It's so exciting! Won't time just go by a LITTLE bit faster?

It's a girl!!!

It's official! There was no doubt during the ultrasound that we are having a baby girl! It looked like our sweet baby girl is very healthy and progressing wonderfully. Adam and I couldn't be more thrilled, although I think Adam is also a little overwhelmed at the thought of raising a girl. But I KNOW he will be a wonderful father! Picture coming soon!

How excited we are!

Like every new parent, Adam and I are both a little overwhelmed thinking about the reality of having a baby. What a big step! I know Adam, as a daddy-to-be, is especially overwhelmed by the responsibility. BUT WE ARE BOTH SO EXCITED! I, personally, am so excited I don't know what to do with myself! Even though I know there is a little human growing inside of me, nothing seems quite real to me yet. At 6 weeks going on 7, I have still have had no physical signs of pregnancy. (besides the very obvious). No morning sickness. (cross my fingers) I AM getting tired earlier on in the day, but being tired is such a regular thing that I have a hard time associating it with pregnancy. One thing I DO feel, however, is more spiritual... a feeling that there is something much purer and greater that is a part of me now. SO... I will start from the beginning.... how we found out, everyone's reactions etc. And THIS starts the long journey of starting our cute little family!