Noe News is Good News

A short history that started in Little Italy

The story of my father is one that is extremely complex and to me is incomprehensable. I don't see him as one who didn't know much love growing up because he personifies the word. He is a loyal father who has made many sacrifices for his family. I learned so much about my father this past weekend- and about the family who probably would have loved him. But my dad never looks back or regrets his past- he knows, like I know, that there is a reason for everything and a plan for every person.

On August 15th, Little Italy celebrates the Feast of the Assumption. It was on this day, when my dad was still not one years old, that his mother ran away to New Mexico with him. My grandmother was jewish, my grandfather an Italian and a Catholic- and their marriage was given a lot of grief by my grandmother's parents. This is the only picture I know of that is out there of the two of them.



When my grandmother saw this picture for the first time recently on facebook (February 2010), this is what she wrote about it:

"I cannot tell you all how much having this photo means to me! Seeing my precious Joey's face in photos from his dear son Joe was and still is so very wonderful after not having seen that wonderful face for half a century. And now to have this photo of us together when I was the happiest I had ever been, with the young man who became my husband, who gave me family where I felt so truly safe and loved, with whom I brought to life our only child, David, whose five children--our grandchildren--have given us 6 greatgrandchildren. How I wish my Joey could have been here to see the family we began together, and that they could all have known him. He was a sweet gentle young man. We were still children when we met and were married. I was 17, he was 19 when we met and grew in love. My mother, however, didn't like him because e was Italian and not Jewish. After David was born, about a year later, my mother kept at me, saying for weeks that it was time for me to come home, that I had been there long enough. None of us, including Joey's family, my Joey and I, was aware that I didn't have to leave, that I was married to my Joey and no one had the right to change that. I was numb for a very long time after I left. I wrote to him but the letters were never mailed "for your own good". When I arrived back to Albuquerque my mother destroyed everything that could possibly remind me of him, including our wedding pictures. I had nothing left of him, not until I met his son Joe on Facebook and he made it possible for me to have photos of my Joey and a copy of a letter I wrote to Joey in 1984. Surprisingly, I now have photos of him from 1984, so I can see my Joey's precious face from the last time we connected thru the letter I wrote him which I know he read and kept. And now to have this photo of the two of us. If anyone, especially our grandchildren, wishes to know more about this star-crossed love, please feel free to ask me."

And so it happened... my dad was separated from his father and never saw him again. IN the mean time, my grandmother remarried- to Joe Kravetz, who was also Jewish.



This too, didn't last long. My grandmother didn't feel like she could be the best mother to her children. Her childhood was also troubled, and the abuse and unhappiness were hidden away under a perfect little dress. She eventually left again... and it was Joe Kravetz, who later married again to Marjorie, who adopted and raised my father.

I don't know much about my father's childhood and I don't necessarily know if he likes to talk about it. My grandma Marjorie passed away when I was a child, and my Grandma "Jennirose" (My dad's biological mother) as we now call her has been in our lives as far back as I can remember although the relationship between her and my father is still quite shaky. There are still many unanswered questions and I've tried to be forgiving to a woman who seemed to have been handed a bad hand. No matter what has happened, she is my flesh and blood and I feel a strong connection and love for her.

My father finally learned of his real father when he turned 18 years old. A phone call was made and tears were shed. But meeting was a difficulty and communication off and on for many many years. It wasn't until my father moved to Kentucky that he finally decided he should meet his father. When he called his family, he found out that his father had died two weeks earlier. It was heart breaking... but from that sprouted a new family. He found out they had celebrated his birthday every year since he had gone missing. His real given name was Carmen David Laurienzo. And to this day they still live in Little Italy Cleveland.

The rest of my family has had a chance to meet the Laurienzo clan, but I was in Thailand when this all took place. So when my dad was recently invited to a 4th of July Party in Cleveland, he asked if I would like to come along. So arrangements were made and my little family decided we would embark on this little road trip to Little Italy!

Very Sick and tired

11-24-2002

From my journal:

"The last few days I have been really really sick. It all started on Thursday night. I had not felt very well that day but was okay. Then when I got home, I was at my desk looking at my pictures when my fingers started getting numb. I didn't really think much about it, but when I got up, I started shivering- shaking uncontrollably. It's never happened to me before. I started crying and went to lay down on my bed. Sister Knapp comforted me, and with her hand on my back began to pray for me. As she was praying, the shivering calmed down a whole lot. It was a miracle- the Lord does answer prayers and He loves me."

I didn't sleep well that night- I woke up shivering cold but sweating- I felt like I had to have a lot of blankets on me. It was kind of scary- it's a lot like how I felt when I was in labor with Joselyn, actually. Right after that Sister Knapp also got very sick and we were sick for many days.

To this day I have no idea why we were so sick... maybe Dangue Fever which is a disease carried by mosquitos. Not sure. But we eventually recovered and were able to go back to work.

It seems like the journal entries that followed the few weeks after all said "We worked so hard today and I'm too tired to write" with quick summaries of what was happening. I think I've forgotten that feeling. What I DO remember was riding through the country side on our bikes all day. It was beautiful... and I miss it. But yes, riding your bike all day does get you worn out. My hands hurt from holding on tight to my bike handles, I was sore all over and riding a bike in a long skirt is not necessarily the easiest thing in the world!

 

My first days in Thailand

All sorts of things were running through my head as we arrived in Thailand. It was a 24 hour flight and I expected to come out of the airplane and feel a huge heat wave. But it was actually quite nice... and in my opinion, Thailand never got quite as bad as I remember Kentucky being. But who knows... I may have just not thought about it so much. It smelled like Asia, and the airport was a pretty normal airport... except for the fact everything was in Thai! We went straight to the mission home which was incredibly beautiful. My mission president and his wife were both really tall and incredibly nice. President and Sister Slater. I remember being impressed that they lived in a gated community, but that was actually not uncommon in Thailand, as I would learn, unless you were really poor. Especially in Bangkok. We stayed that first night in the mission home and then the following morning we were introduced to our new companions. I was put with Sister Knapp and we were to travel 12 hours by bus to Ubon- which is located in the Eastern part of Thailand.

My first real taste of Thailand was waiting at the bus station. We ordered some water and they put straws in the bottles for us. It's just something they do! It was also weird seeing brands I knew well of things such as potato chips in a different language.

 

The bus ride was certainly long... and although I think I avoided talking about it in my journal I remember it being uncomfortable too. But it was a 12 hour trip... so if you can imagine, Sister Knapp and I had a lot of time to get to know eachother. She was from California and had the most beautiful skin. There were other missionaries in the bus with us too, so my mind was filled with lots of stories about missionary life in Thailand. I was excited! I was already feeling weird about not speaking the language well, and the Thai people did not sound like my teachers at the MTC. They spoke really fast and some had accents that were very hard to understand on top of that. When we arrived in Ubon, we took a little vehicle called a Tuk Tuk to our little house. That was very awesome in my book. And I never tired of riding in one the WHOLE time!

Our little house was a small home, but I loved it. We had one room that was air conditioned in our house- our bedroom. And we were only allowed to turn it on at night. We kept cool with fans and left the windows open everywhere. We had a microwave. When I woke up that first morning, it was LOUD. I couldn't believe it! Roosters, chickens, bugs, birds. They were all new sounds to wake up to but I loved it. There was something so exotic about it! There were pretty much bugs and gheckos everywhere. Even the fanciest of homes would have a few gheckos. You just got used to it and they avoided us. Ants, on the other hand, were unavoidable. Sister Knapp told me that there would pretty much be at least one ant on you the whole time you were in Thailand. I think she was right!

We ordered a lot of our food from street vendors. Fresh fruit was pretty much delivered to our door- pineapple and guava were my favorite. They would cut up the fruit on their little cart, stick them in a bag and we would eat right from the bag with toothpicks.

The Thai people were very warm and sweet. I felt welcomed the moment I arrived, especially at church.  The Thai people loved foreigners and there was never a time we met someone where they didn't offer us water that I can remember. Very kind people!

One of my first days in town we saw an elephant walking down the street! I had heard this was normal but to see it first hand was pretty sweet! I saw them many many times... and at night some of the elephants would have little lights on their tails.  There are LOTS of stray dogs... really yucky ones. Huge toads jumping around... cows, goats and chickens were not uncommon either especially in my first area of Ubon.

Since I didn't have a bike the first few days, we spent a lot of time walking, riding tuk-tuks and also song-taws which are covered trucks with benches in the back. That's the best I can explain!



It was definitely a whole new world, but I felt right at home.

A little more MTC

Ok- before I get to Thailand... I found a few more pictures from the MTC that I thought were kind of fun, so I thought I'd share!

My desk in our room

Me and my comps being silly. I so loved these two beautiful gals. They were totally cool.  





The MATRIX pictures!!





Oh and more pillow room pictures. I'm telling you it was FUN!

The MTC

 

The MTC is an amazing experience. A constant source of spiritual nourishment that really prepared me for Thailand. On top of that, we learned Thai super fast- it could only have been through blessings of a higher power. But it was fun too. I was one of the lucky ones to have had two companions in the MTC... Sister Grimmius and Sister Craner. Gosh I love them! I learned so much from each of them and we shared some amazing memories together. We practiced Thai together, sang in harmony as we did our cleaning duties...

I loved my district too... although I found out waaay later in my mission that some of the Elders hid my mail from Adam!! The nerve...



It's amazing how close you get to people you meet at the MTC. We were like brothers and sisters... and to this day we still try and keep up with each other's lives. I loved that about our group!

Adam sent me a LOT of letters. Sometimes I would get twice in one day. He also sent me cassettes (yeah, and that wasn't too long ago!) and packages. He sent me a sweatshirt of his, a new Fossil watch (which I wore all throughout my mission) and kind of embarassing at the MTC... roses.






I think after the roses a lot of people wondered what I was doing on a mission and not in a wedding dress. But by now you know the story!

A friend of mine from Kentucky, Amanda, was in the MTC at the same time I was. She was going to Texas. She had access to the Pillow room. The coolest place EVER!



We also took some cool "Matrix" photos which is a tradition at the MTC. How we did this you will never know, ha ha... and I know I have a picture of all three of us somewhere but I couldn't find it.



A typical day at the MTC included pretty much all day studying scriptures and the language, listening to some awesome speakers, praying, waiting for letters and a few breaks a week for exercise, letter writing and laundry. And cleaning. Talking about it I kind of miss it. Not much to worry about except for what's most important.

I'll have to dig out my scrapbook tomorrow to get more pictures. I think I have a few more I want to share. Next up- the fun in Thailand begins! It's definitely not something I could write about in a day. So much I want to write about! So I will write as I get the chance, maybe include a few journal entries and lots of pictures. I'm actually kind of excited to re-live my mission a little bit because it was such a monumental part of my life that I miss so much. It changed me for the better and opened my eyes. There were moments of heartche too... the worst I've ever felt and some of the hardest challenges I have ever faced. And then there were the miracles. I can't wait to write about those! And last but not least, just the amazing place that Thailand is. The elephants, the history, the people. I miss it so much! By the time I get back there, I'm afraid my Thai will be as bad as when I was fresh out of the MTC. Or worse.

Hard Decisions and the mission call

When I was dating Adam, my older sister Amaree was on her mission in Japan. There is no doubt about it- our family was being blessed as she served. But like I said before, a mission wasn't for me. So it really was kind of annoying when my mom brought up the idea of a mission. Seriously? Just as I was getting serious with this incredible man who finally wanted to marry me? No way. But my mom knew something I didn't... and it was the same thing that God knew. I just didn't know yet. I don't think my mother and I have ever fought so much in my life and it's a time I don't really like to remember. She wanted me to go on a mission sooo badly. It got to a point where we hardly ever spoke. I told her to leave me alone- I didn't want to hear another word about it. I was disrespectful to her. I was marrying someone incredible- and there was nothing wrong with what I was doing anyway. I had even prayed about Adam and felt right about him. So my mom never brought it up again and I know it broke her heart. And we were distant. Besides... if I were to go on a mission, it would not be for my mother. I would go for myself- and for the Lord.

Adam and I continued to plan a life together... I even saw a letter from a jeweler on his countertop one day. But there was something nagging me that wouldn't go away. A mission. My mom hadn't bugged me about it in weeks... so why was I feeling this way? I did a lot of soul searching. I prayed a lot. And the answers started coming. First it was meeting a sister missionary from Italy. My dad's real father was from Italy, and so when I met her I saw myself in her. Maybe I would be sent to Italy? Then other things starting happening. Very specific messages from God telling me he wanted me to be a missionary. I fought it sooo hard. I was so afraid of losing Adam if I left. But one night after I couldn't deny any signs anymore, I brought it up to Adam. I braced myself for the worst. It was obvious his heart was broken, but the strange thing was this: he had been having the same feelings. That I should go on a mission. We made a promise to each other to not give up- but to support each other as I started to prepare for a mission. Even Adam's mom knew that's what I was going to do.

The next day, I called my mom and told her I had some news... and I knew what she was thinking. She was thinking I was going to tell her I was engaged. Our relatioship was still shaky- and I don't think I could have called her and expected excitement over that kind of news. She sounded nervous. I started telling her my experiences and that she was right- a mission is what God wanted for me. She cried. I think mothers just know some things.

Adam never once asked me to stay- and yet he was so supportive. He helped me prepare for what was going to be a major life event for me. He studied scriptures with me. HE told me stories about his mission.

When my mission call came, he was there as I opened and read "You are hereby called to serve in the Thailand Bangkok mission" I seriously WAS expecting Italy... but the moment I read those words, an amazing feeling of love that I can't describe came over me for the people of Thailand. And I didn't even know anything about Thailand except my parents tried to get me to try Thai food and I wouldn't touch it.

My dad teased me. He thought I was being sent there to be humbled... so I wouldn't care so much about my hair being perfect (very humid there- gonna make my hair frizzy!!) and so I would be more open to tasting strange foods. I HATED seafood and wouldn't try strange ethnic foods. That was a little annoying... but in the end, my hair never looked better than it did in Thailand and my heart DID grow fond of the Thai food. (and I was blessed to be able to eat seafood while I was there too... something I can't really do again now that I am back from my mission)

Adam and I spent lots of time together before I left. We went to the bookstore and spent hours looking through books of Thailand and looking at the language wondering how in the heck I would ever learn to read it. It was really really hard to leave someone I loved so much. I was determined to make things work though! We would write eachother... I told him to date other girls if he felt he needed to. I wouldn't be upset. I told him to spend lots of time with my family too.


The night before I got set apart as a missionary

We both knew this is what God wanted me to do... and that made leaving a little bit easier. I think if Adam would have begged me to stay I would have. So it was so important and meaningful that he supported me so much and encouraged me. Adam and I both cried when I left. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I spent a few days in Utah with my Grandparents(where they have a condo) before entering the MTC.



Gosh, I can remember I was soooo nervous! I had been to France by myself but it didn't compare to how scared I felt going into the MTC. (The Missionary Training Center) This was all new territory for me!

From the beginning.

For the record, I never wanted to be a missionary. I was very determined to get married early and start a family. As soon as I could, I moved to Utah in hopes to find a good man who would sweep me off my feet and ask me to marry him. I was so naive and immature then... I had turned in my application to BYU and was living there as if I had already been accepted. It was a huge relief when my parents called me to tell me they had recieved the letter from BYU saying I had been accepted. I was ready to start a new phase in my life. Now that I look back to all that has happened, I know that God was preparing me for bigger and better things. It's so awesome that he knows us so well... and knows exactly what we need. It didn't take me long to meet an incredible fun guy. I had gone to Salt Lake City to meet up with a childhood friend from Arizona who had also moved to Utah. She took me to her friend's house who was having a little get together. That's where I met Jeff. He was handsome, tall and muscular. And funny- a humor that some may have found a little off-beat but come on. If you know the Kravetz family this was totally what I was used to. As we started talking I also found out he was very athletic- way into Basketball. He played basketball with the best players from the University of Utah. I was smitten. I too had played basketball in high school so we had a lot to talk about. I totally thought he was the one. As I left that evening, I told him to come find me if he ever was in Provo. I told him where I lived and gave him my apartment number. Not too long after that on a Friday evening, I didn't have any plans and was going to be staying at home to watch some show on TV when there was a knock on the door. I looked through the peep hole and saw Jeff standing at my doorstep and my heart skipped a beat. I quickly looked in the mirror to make sure I looked alright and opened the door.

"You could have told me which apartment building you were in! We've been to a few different #2__ (I can't remember our apartment number) looking for you!"

That made me smile. It was kind of sweet that he would go searching for me like that. We went hiking up to the Y and things just started rolling from there. We had fun and we laughed a LOT. I actually don't know if I have ever laughed so much in my life. But something just always seemed off... he didn't ever want to commit. He said there were things... that if I knew about them, I probably wouldn't want to be with him. I didn't believe it. I was in love with him.

We had been dating a year at the point. And I remember telling him... and getting nothing in return. It really hurt. I think that was a turning point for me. I decided to fly back to Kentucky to sort things out in my mind and be with my family, not really knowing if I would ever go back to Utah or not. Jeff and I stayed in touch, talked a lot. But I kind of had a feeling I needed to let go. It was soooo hard. I admit I felt I would never find someone again who would be such a perfect fit for me. When I went back to a Utah a few months later for a good friends wedding, we broke up. We both cried.

You know how they say you always find someone when you're not looking for them? Ha. This was soo true for me. I had started attending the singles branch. It took me a while to start noticing other guys but when I did, there really was only one guy who caught my attention, and that was Adam. He was so HOT. I had actually met him once before... when he had just got off his mission and I was fresh out of High School... but I felt the same then as I did at this point. Like I would ever have a chance with him? In my eyes, he could have had any girl he wanted... and pretty much a lot of the girls there DID want him! But somehow I caught his eye too. I wasn't quite over Jeff at this point, but I was ready to start trying to move on. This is when I was working at Lowe's. Before heading to work one day, I opened my e-mail to find an e-mail from Adam, just asking how I was doing. I was in complete shock. I tried to sound cool in my e-mail... and I really tried hard not to embarass myself. But that same day at work, I was working at the Returns counter when a woman came to return a plant. She said I looked familiar and asked me where I went to church. When I told her, she immediately said that's where she knew me from and told me her son's name: Adam Noe. Seriously??? The guy who had just e-mailed me that morning? So we carried on a small conversation and I liked her a lot.

Adam was very different from Jeff. He dressed really nice, was only a bit taller than me and he had lighter brown hair. I always had imagined myself with someone a lot taller than me with darker hair. He had a great physique too though. Nice broad shoulders and strong arms... something I have always been drawn to. I would say he was definitely "metro". Wait- he still is. But I love that about him. Anyway, he FINALLY asked me out for a date I will never forget.

I had always dreamed that a date would bring me flowers. On our first date, November 17th 2000, Adam brought me a long stemmed red rose, picked straight from his mother's beautiful garden. I think at that moment I knew he was definitely different. And very charming. He was driving a Toyota Tacoma and played Britney Spears and other trendy music he had compiled onto a CD... something he had carefully planned out ahead of time. This doesn't surprise me now... Adam is all about the details. We started out with ice skating (also carefully planned out- but the plan kind of flopped when he realized I was actually pretty good at ice skating and didn't need to hold on to him for support), ate dinner at Applebees and watched Remeber The Titans. Great first movie date! Over dinner he talked about his sweet niece Melanie who he adored (she was not even 2 then) and how he was into bodybuilding. I went home thinking to myself "I could totally marry someone like him". But our little dating game had just begun. We were on and off for a long time. So many times I wanted to give up on him. There were so many other girls. And what hurt the most? He would call me after a date and tell me all about it. I should have let him go. But I couldn't. Something was telling me to stick with him. When I would think I couldn't take it anymore, he would say he wanted me back. It was really a game. One I didn't know we would win.

Things all changed the day Jeff came to visit. He was on his way into North Carolina and we had stayed friends. He thought he would come and say hi, and my family offered him a place to stay. I really had no feelings for him at this point except those of a dear friend... and I know he felt the same about me. But Adam wasn't having it. He was CRAAAAAZY jealous. I had never seen him that way before. Called me in tears. I couldn't understand it because Jeff really was just a friend. So I made them meet... and we all went to the mall together. Adam made sure to let Jeff know I was his. So funny. From that point on, things got really serious for Adam and me. We talked about marriage... we even talked about what we would name our little girl if we were to ever have one... Joselyn. As we talked about this next stage in our life and I presented the idea to my parents, I was shocked by my mother's reaction. Yes, Adam had put me though heck. My parents liked him, but I guess they just weren't sure if he was right for me- and I don't really blame them for doubting. But I knew.

A day to remember

No matter who you voted for back in November or what you believe, today is a day to remember. Today, Barack Obama became the first African American President of the United States.

How did we spend it?

First, We went to the Jessamine County Public Library for story time!

We = me + Joselyn + Landen

Yep! It took all morning to plan our outing. For me, with 2 kids, it kinda takes all morning to get all the timings just right for getting out of the house. I had to make sure Joselyn got her morning nap in, that Landen got fed before we left and that the diaper bag was packed up with all the essentials for a long afternoon away from home - not to mention find time to get myself ready. But it went smoothly, amazingly! We met up with a few friends at the Library and Joselyn danced around the room as she listened to the stories and nursery rhymes. And played with bubbles! Joselyn loves bubbles.

Afterwards, we watched the inauguration there at library (and enjoyed the free donuts they provided!)

My friend Sierra invited us over to her house after story time, so we hung out there for a while. Can I say how nice it was to be out of the house? Even Joselyn, who skipped her afternoon nap, was cheerful the whole time. She kept busy trying to chase after Tang (their kitty), playing with Shannon's dog Pepper and another neighbor's dog that was running around (She really loves those animals! AND the snow!), begging Sierra for food and she even managed to watch a few minutes of Finding Nemo. Landen slept :)