Noe News is Good News

Thank you... whoever you are!

Some people are just so sweet. So sweet that they move you to tears.

 

  

 So I guess it's no secret that I've had a bad couple of weeks since I told the whole world a few days ago. I apologize for complaining so openly. This blog is my outlet and sometimes I get carried away. I sometimes forget how many people actually read this blog.

There is something I should say...

Sometimes I lock myself in my house and feel sorry for myself because I tell myself I don't have a lot of friends here... knowing that it's really my own fault for being anti-social and not making any effort to put myself out there. I tell myself that I don't fit in with people and that there are only a few people in my life who really would care if I had a bad day or a good day. I know it sounds terrible and I really hate to admit that I think that way sometimes because it's really a personal battle of mine... something that keeps me from trying to be a friend to someone else. I guess after having kids and kind of losing my footing on self-image and time management, I have just lost confidence in myself. But I think in admitting this, it will help illustrate just how much it meant to me today to receive this little surprise on my doorstep after a shopping trip with my sister. I was so touched that an anonymous someone would take time out of their day to go and buy me a cheerful smiley face balloon, a kitkat bar (to give me a break I guess?), write a sweet note and leave it on my doorstep for me to find. So touched that it moved me to tears and I had to explain to Joselyn that sometimes people cry when they're happy too. Someone actually proved me wrong- there ARE people out there who care. I want to be like that someone who did this for me. SO whoever you are- thank you. You'll never know how much it meant to me. It gave me a little more energy today to clean my house, and a little more patience with my kids. It put a smile on my face that I couldn't wipe away.

Oh- and my children love the balloon too. It cheered them up just about as much as it cheered ME up! And Landen wouldn't let go of it all evening. Here he is holding the balloon as he watches TV. He sat there just like that for a good 15 minutes. :)

 

The Flu has taken over the Noe Family

(a long probably very boring documentation of the last few days with the swine flu- mostly for history's sake)

Now that my own sickness is behind me, it's easy for me to say "it wasn't that bad". But my husband will tell you that I curled myself up into a ball, moaned and groaned and complained that "I have never felt so terrible in my life." And that pretty much is the truth. I didn't move for 3 days.

It started on Sunday morning. It was the first time I had fasted on fast Sunday since I had my 2 babies, but I was kind of excited for it. I immediately didn't feel good, but attributed it to the fact that I hadn't eaten breakfast and that my body wasn't used to it. I started to get a little cough... it's because I haven't drank water, I told myself. As the day went on, I felt worse and worse. When we got home from church I was feeling terrible. I got some food in my belly but still felt terrible- so I took a nap. When I woke up, I asked Adam if I felt hot and he said no, but I felt like I had a fever so I took my temperature- 101.5. From that point on, Adam started taking care of the kids because I just couldn't.

Chills, fatigue, cold sweats, cough, body ache. All symptoms of the flu... I started wondering if I had it. I don't think I've ever really had the real flu. I've had colds here and there and got really sick once or twice in Thailand, but never really had the flu. At least not like this. I started wondering if I had the swine flu, and started asking questions about it on facebook. A family I had taken pictures for last Friday let me know that they, along with the bride's family also had the same symptoms and were going to be checked for Swine Flu. So I decided to wait for their results before going in myself.

Tuesday morning rolled around and I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of the kids without getting them sick (and I didn't have the strength anyway) so my sweet mother-in-law said she would take them for me all day while Adam went into work. I curled up under some blankets on the couch and watched "Uptown Girls" (a favorite movie of mine- so sweet) 2 times in a row. I had wanted to get some stuff done that day, but had no energy whatsoever. It was mid-afternoon when I found out that the other families had tested positive for the swine flu. So Adam took me to a walk-in clinic. my temperature was 102.4 and I immediately tested positive for type A flu virus (97% of which is swine flu according to the government website) I wasn't really too worried for myself- the swine flu isn't necessarily worse than regular flu as far as symptoms go, but is HIGHLY contagious because of it's newness in nature. So I worried about my children. It was decided that they, along with Adam, would stay at my in-laws that night so that we could hopefully keep them from getting the flu as well. I was also prescribed Tamiflu to help ease the symptoms.

Adam was so sweet and wonderful and helpful during this whole ordeal. I know it was not easy for him- he had work to worry about as well as some online classes. But he took such great care of me and the kids. He put them to bed by himself and fed them and got them ready. I really really came to appreciate him so much more and all the sacrifices he was making for his family.

Wednesday morning, Adam called to say that Joselyn was feeling hot. My heart just sank. Even though we had taken precautions she still got it. Landen was still doing fine as was Adam. Adam took her in to the doctor. Joselyn also had the flu. She came home to me and I got to cuddle on the couch with her for the first time in 2 days. Although I felt terrible that she was sick, I had really really missed holding her. Landen was still my the in-laws and Adam went back to work. We decided that we would bring Landen home that evening and he would sleep upstairs with Adam in our room and I would sleep downstairs on the couch. I was starting to feel somewhat better. I was taking care of Joselyn, because we wanted to try and keep Adam from getting the flu too. Adam was doing all that he could to keep himself from getting it as well. I laughed so hard when I caught him spraying his legs with Lysol after Joselyn sneezed near him.

You can probably guess what happened Thursday morning. Landen woke up with a fever. Fortunately, we didn't have to take him in. Our doctor told us to call him if he started showing any symptoms, and he called in some Tamiflu for Landen. Landen had RSV when he was really little, so I was especially worried about him having the flu. He acted very strange to me... his neck would get limp and he would almost fall back into me and I thought he was breathing pretty strange. I even finally made Adam take him in to get checked just to be safe- but his breathing was normal. Peace of mind. Thursday night was awful. I was up for the challenge of not getting any sleep- I had had plenty since Sunday. But I wasn't prepared for Landen to wake up every 15-20 minutes. I laid him next to me in bed and comforted him as much as I could but nothing was working and it scared me once again. So we called the Dr on call. I was in hysterics... had to repeat myself so many times because she could not understand me through my sobs and tears. She finally suggested we try letting him sleep in his car seat. We really should have thought of that- we did that often with Joselyn. It worked like a charm. He slept pretty well the rest of the night.

It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who woke up with a fever this morning... we thought he was going to be the strong one to avoid the flu, but it was inevitable- he had taken care of all three of us at one point or another. The good thing was that I was feeling SO MUCH better so I was finally able to take on the role of nurturer. And it felt good to be the one taking care of people.

**Then again, people WERE still taking care of me. My sweet friend Kasey, who I have been dying to see for months, who is visiting from NM with her little boy who turns 2 tomorrow, dropped some Chick-fil-a breakfast off on our front porch this morning. Then for lunch, we recieved Backyard Burger from my in-laws (not to mention the casseroles and cobbler she dropped off that Monday)**

My day was trying so hard to be bad, but I couldn't help but enjoy every minute with my children, who with medicine in their bodies didn't act very sick at all. When dinner time came around, it should have been the last straw. As I opened a jar of carrots for Landen, it all exploded onto my clothes. And then as he sat there eating, he pooped- which poop started leaking out his diaper. Since Adam was out of commission, I took Joselyn and poopy Landen both upstairs for a bath by myself. Joselyn played contently but Landen wanted nothing to do with a bath. He screamed and screamed. I for once didn't get impatient with him or feel frustrated. I understood how he must have been feeling. I dressed him up, made him a bottle and put him to bed. He fell asleep immediately. Joselyn screamed and screamed and kicked in the bath when it was her turn but I remained calm and didn't get upset like I usually would. My clothes were soaking wet and she hadn't even sat down in the water. It's ok- they were already orange from the carrot explosion. Once I got her out of the tub and into PJs she calmed down and I laughed at the sight of myself- and so did Adam.

I really do usually try to see the bright side of things when trials come along- but getting the flu this time around has really opened my eyes to the blessings that surround me. I know it's corny as can be, but for today I will not complain as I get up over and over again to help my babies and husband. I actually enjoy it today. Immensely. I love them so much. I'm so lucky to have them. I'm so lucky to be on my way to being healthy again.

To any of you suffering from the flu or wanting to find out how to avoid it, this is a really good informative website put together by the government:

http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/

A family of four... and some major ramblings.

Our best attempt at a family photo today... daddy's head has been cut off just a little too much, but I love this picture. I love Joselyn's smile and I love seeing the 4 of us in a picture together.

Today I was finally given the GO for driving. Woohoo! But wait a minute... am I really ready for that? I must say that these past 2 weeks at home have driven me crazy. I need out a bit. Fresh air. New environement. I'm pretty sure Joselyn feels the same way. But I get nervous thinking about trying to get all of us ready to go by myself and loaded into the vehicle. I'm sure it will take some getting used to. I also have to get used to Landen's feeding schedule. I forget sometimes how demanding a nursing baby can be and leaving the house is so inconvenient when I start thinking about the "what-if's"... what if he gets hungry while I'm out? Where would I feed him and what will Joselyn do while I feed him? I'm starting to think that leaving the house with two small babies by myself won't be happening for quite some time. I might attempt a few small trips to my parents' or in-laws' but as far as shopping or story time at the Library... that's going to have to wait until I either have someone to help me out or my babies get a little older (or Joselyn more mindful).

On Monday, Adam goes back to work full-time and I tackle the two babies all day by myself. So far Joselyn has been wonderful. She's been cheerful and sweet... almost understanding. But Adam has been here to help keep her occupied as has our TV. And I think I've let her watch a little more TV than I would like. And honestly, (especially since we got rid of the fancier cable channels recently) I can only take so much of Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog and Sid the Science Kid. So... what to do? And how will I find the time to take a shower in the mornings when Adam is not here to watch the babies? I'm thinking my days are going to need some major planning from now on. But I'm ready for it I think... and I'm ready to start focusing a little more on myself this year. I'm heading back to the gym as soon as I get the go-ahead from the doctor and I'm going to to have a "pamper myself" day every saturday... just an hour or two to feel good about myself with a facial or manicure or something. (at home done by myself). I'm suffering from postpartum low self-esteem. I know I just had a baby (and Adam continues to remind me of this) but I hate how unproportioned I feel... and how much weight I've gained... and I'm sick of my hair. It needs a new style and maybe even some color?? (Come on mom... it won't be THAT bad!!) And I NEED NEW CLOTHES which I don't want to buy until I have some sort of a figure back. My old clothes just won't fit anymore because I am very "top heavy" if you know what I mean. And No, I have never considered this a blessing. It's FRUSTRATING. I can't find a shirt that looks good on me right now. All of this brings me back to the driving and going out thing... the thought of going out the way I look right now is discouraging which makes it harder to talk myself into leaving the house... even when I WANT to!

Ok. Sorry 'bout that. I really didn't mean to turn this into a pitty party for myself. I have really been pretty happy with things as long as I don't look at pictures of myself and I can stay in my comfy lounge pants and sweatshirts. I love Landen... he's a little cuddle bug. I love how he just curls his little body up into a ball and lays his head on my shoulder when I hold him! I love looking into his dark- grayish greenish brownish bluish eyes (I'm thinking they will be hazel like my dad's) and how he will lay on a blanket on the floor taking the world in around him with such amazement. I love how sweet Joselyn is to him... sharing her beloved blankets with him, trying to get him to play with rattles that he can't hold on to yet and wanting to play with his cute teeny fingers and tickle his toes. I can tell they are going to be such good little buddies.

This is all one big amazing journey for me that will take a while to get used to for sure... but I could not ask for anything better in my life right now. So even when I complain about how I don't get any sleep or I can't wash my hair as much as I would like to, just know I am loving every minute of it.

Oh... and if any of you have any suggestions for the following issues, please leave me a comment! Thanks!

1. How to handle taking out 2 or more babies out at the same time (I'm guessing Heather, Danielle or Amaree might have some good insights on this one)
2. NEW CUTE HAIRSTYLE ideas that would be fairly easy to manage for someone with thick takes-a-long-time-to-fix hair
3. When to take a shower
4. How to occupy a one year-old and keep her from getting into everything while trying to nurse a baby without always counting on the TV to do that job

Good-bye 2008, hello 2009!

We hope you had a wonderful new year's day :)

The Noe family stayed in with the babies and celebrated with Mississippi mud brownies, made by Adam, and good-ole TV. I would have gone to bed early and skipped out on watching the ball drop, but as expected, was awake feeding Landen when midnight came. So we watched the ball drop and it was a peaceful bringing in of the new year.

Adam let me sleep in this morning and it was a good way to start the year. I am very hopeful for this new year and what it will bring, and for the goals I have set. I look forward to another year full of wonderful memories and sweet times with my growing family - and I wish the best to all of you as well!

Prayers

Yesterday was a very sad day... my sister lost her baby while on vacation in Utah. Please keep her and her little family in your prayers. It's never an easy thing to deal with for all involved. I'm heart-broken that I can't be there with her to comfort her during this difficult time in her life and hope she knows just how much I love her!

Is this the way it's supposed to be?

When I became a mother I thought I was the one who was supposed to be taking care of the baby- not the BABY taking care of me. But every day I am more convinced that Joselyn feels she needs to take care of me- that she needs to make me smile- that she needs to teach me something. DO any other mothers out there feel that way?

I was having a terrible day today... just the stress I guess of being so enormous that even maternity shirts won't cover my belly completely and I can't do the things I need to sufficiently. The day started out good enough... Joselyn woke up in a great mood and we went to Joseph Beth Booksellers for story time. She LOVED all the kids, the songs, the stories and nursery rhymes. She showed extra excitement for "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Pat A Cake" which she already knew the actions for. It was great. When that was over, they brought a big bucket of toys out for the kids to play with and she played very well for a good 10 minutes... and then the chasing began. It's hard for me to keep up with her these days... and after 3 times of telling her NICELY to stay with the toys because she was getting dangerously close to the escalators, I had to tell her we were going home. When we got back to the Jeep, someone very KIND had parked extremely close to me making it very difficult- ALMOST impossible for me to get Joselyn in her car seat. I think this is when the bad day started. I had a few errands to run and getting Joselyn in and out of the car was taking it's toll on me. On top of that, I have been feeling stressed about a few other things and all of the sudden it was just too much. We met Adam for lunch and that was great- but after that the difficulties resumed as Joselyn cried pretty much the whole way home because she was tired and it was way past her afternoon nap time. Great. We got home and I tried to put her down for a nap- she played in her crib for 30 minutes, then started screaming. I went upstairs, changed her diaper and put her back down. She needed a nap or she would be cranky the rest of the day. She screamed again so I decided to rock her a little bit... this is the moment my day took a turn.

I'm sure Joselyn could sense my frustration and sadness... as I rocked her I patted and rubbed her back. She reciprocated. It moves me to tears almost every time she does that! Then she lifted her head off of my shoulders and tried to look at me. I quickly closed my eyes because I didn't want to give her attention that would cause her not to sleep. She pointed at my right eye and said "eye", played with my eyelashes then tried to open it with her little finger. (gently) So I finally give in- she gives me the biggest smile ever, says "hi" with a wave and waits for me to smile back. When I do easily, (how could I resist? It melted my heart) she seemed content that she had cheered me up (and she really really had!) and laid her head back down on my shoulder. After a few more minutes of her patting me on the back and rubbing my arm, I laid her down in her crib again and she fell asleep peacefully.  All the sadness and frustration that had built up inside of me today melted away with my heart. I just couldn't help but feel she felt it was HER job to comfort ME and make ME smile today. That is why I love this little girl.

Thankful

I know I will be way too busy to write a Thanksgiving post the next few days so I thought I would go ahead and do one. I LOVE Thanksgiving. What a great holiday it is- one that we can reflect on all of our blessings and be with the ones we love the most.

I have SO much to be Thankful for.

My husband

I mean, seriously... how did I get so lucky? There is no denying he is one big hottie with great genetics and the best sense of style... but he's so much more. This man is the most caring, unselfish, sweet person I know. It was easy to fall in love with him because it is so obvious how much he genuinely cares about other people which is apparent in everything he does.  I knew on our first date that he would make a great husband and father someday... and I was right. He is smart, talented, and just plain sweet. I love how gentle and patient he is with Joselyn and how he takes the time to SHOW her how to do things... how to use a spoon, how to put on shoes, or even how to throw garbage away in the trash can. I love how hard he works to provide for our family... he's such a hard worker that he has had 3 promotions/raises in this past year. I'm so proud of him. I love him for the Christ-like person he is and how he tries so hard to do what Christ would do in all things. I love how he supports my decision to be a stay at home mom and how patient he is with me when the house isn't always clean or dinner isn't made. I love how he encourages my dreams whatever they may be. And I especially love that he loves me completely and tells me I'm beautiful despite my shortcomings, my weight gain, stretch marks or whatever other imperfections I may have. As I was about to leave Thailand, my mission president advised I marry someone who would make me want to be a better person. Adam does this for me.

My Children
 

The day Joselyn was born was the day I realized just how selfish of a person I really was. I was ashamed but she made me want to change. Everyday she teaches me just what it means to be full of love, faith and trust. I love that little girl and she has brought more joy into my life than I ever thought possible.  I don't think I could have ever guessed how many blessings would be brought into my life because of her. I know that my little boy will bring an even greater understanding of love and I can't help but be grateful for these sweet little babies.

My Family
I have the BEST family ever. My mom and sisters are my best friends ever... they listen to all my non-sense and are there ALWAYS when I need them. They are honest with me and sincere and take SUCH GOOD CARE of me. My father is wise, kind and is a good example to me. He's the kind of father everyone should be lucky enough to have. My brothers are the greatest and sweetest guys who go out of their way to help anyone.  There is not a lot of drama in my family and we all get along. I love that about our family. We are close-knit and have fun when we are together. I have been SO BLESSED with such a great family.

I even married into a great family! Adam's family is also drama-free and just plain amazing. We get along great and I feel so loved- have since the very beginning! The Noe family exuberates what unconditional love means.

My Religious Beliefs

Not something I talk about a lot on this blog... I'm not one to force my beliefs on anyone but I love to share how much it has brought happiness and blessings into my life. I spent most of my life searching for answers/truth and I know I have found it. It has brought me comfort during hard times and reassurance in this ever-changing wicked world. I'm grateful for the knowledge that my family is bound by eternal love forever. I'm grateful for the example that Christ has set for all of us and know that I am happier when I follow His teachings. My life makes perfect sense because of what I have come to know.

My Trials/Bad days/Hard Times
Yes, I know... it sounds strange. But as I look back on my life, I realize that each set of trials has brought a valuable learning experience that has enriched my life or that has enabled me to be a more understanding and empathetic human being.

My friends
Good loyal friends are hard to come by these days... but I must say that I have some very wonderful friends who have stuck with me over the years. I am grateful for these friends who have put up with my imperfections and laziness and yet are still willing to be my friends. I would hope that these certain friends know who they are... and know just how much I love and appreciate them!!

This beautiful world and all in it
It never ceases to amaze me all that we have in this day and age... down to cell phones and cute little baby clothes... all which came from natural resources from the Earth. I'm grateful for blue skies and for rainy days, for beautiful color-changing trees and sweet smelling flowers. I'm grateful for GOOD FOOD. Especially Dove chocolate. I'm grateful for hot showers and a comfortable bed. I'm grateful for smart people who use their knowledge to help others and better the lives around them. I'm grateful for the many nice people who still exsist. You know, the ones who hold the door open for pregnant ladies waddling with a one year old and diaper bag in tow. This list could go on forever.

I have so much to be grateful for. I really really do!  I'm glad we can take this holiday to reflect on all these blessings and give thanks. If you're reading this blog, I know I have some reason to be grateful for you being in my life... so I will take this opportunity to say THANK YOU to YOU too. I hope you all enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving with those you love the most!

Encouragement for Young Mothers

One of the talks at General Conference that really touched me was the second to last talk by Elder Ballard, titled "Daughters of God". Yes, motherhood is DEFINITELY rewarding and fun. Sometimes, though, at least for me even being a mother of one can be challenging and it was refreshing to hear his encouragement and advice for young mothers. Whether you are a member of my church or not, you may also find this talk refreshing and uplifting so I decided to post it for myself and for my friends. Just click on the "continue reading" below.